“Not a Sadder Creature in the World – Parents Grief in the 17th Century England” an article in History Magazine (Vol 11,no10, October 2010) by Hannah Newton.
Here Newton examines the correspondence of the Verney family to reveal the experience of losing a child in 17th Century England.
As a common occurrence in the 17th century, 1.4 of every 10 children died before the age of one. Many historians assumed it to be manageable for parents of that day, but letters of correspondence of the Varney family from 1640 show that their grief was severe and debilitating. Ralph and Mary Varney wrote letters to each other as they were separated for a time. Mary was home with their new born son; Ralph Jr. Ralph Sr. was in Paris with their eight year old daughter Peg, who died suddenly after a brief severe illness. Parents of the time as like Ralph, observed their children’s painful path to death. Both Mary and Ralph exhibited torment in their letters to each other informing the other of each child’s death.
In the 17th Century they called the grief, “distraction”, which included great weeping and groaning. The symptom of this was a lack of the ability to concentrate, which was typical. Fathers as well as mothers experienced these feelings.
Later certain situations could rekindle the painful remembrances. For example, the Varney’s were asked to care for a young child of a friend. Their response was posed in a letter: “…this would make my wound bleed daily afresh.” Newton said in her article, “the image of bleeding and broken hearts suggest that emotions such as grief were thought to be tangible liquids that seeped out of the heart”, and “the evident emotional distress of losing a child demonstrates the deep line that parents had with their children, and challenges the traditional view that high mortality rates of children dissuaded parent from investing too much emotional capital in their children”.
Religion and faith provided consolation for grieving parents. Everything was directed by God and though seemingly negative, the Almighty Father’s interventions were always beneficial. This fact was the consolation that their pain was not experienced in vain. Their confidence and hope was placed in heaven for a home of reconciliation and comfort.
